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The Write On Wednesday Rules: Get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment of support and constructive criticism.
in english( with a little help of google translator ;-))
I thought I saw a future for me. A life of happiness and satisfaction seemed to be tangible, so close I could almost believe in the laughter that I heard.
I closed my eyes, felt the wind as it blew through my hair while I turned to you, faster, in the twilight of the setting autumn sun. The leaves were falling down on us and I looked into the setting sun rays glistening as if dust particles would share our love of unity with the world. I thought it would go on forever, I thought I saw you turn with me and I have not understood that you have been standing aside ... Now with my eyes open even it is painful to see it is good to have the courage to turning on, if you are not holding my hand I'm never alone ..
| I thought I saw | Ich dachte ich sah eine Zukunft für mich. Ein Leben im Glück und Zufriedenheit schien möglich greifbar, so nah das ich beinah an das Lachen glauben konnte, dass ich hörte. | ||||||||
| Ich schloss die Augen, spürte den Wind wie er durch meine Haare strich während ich mich mit dir drehte, immer schneller, im Zwielicht der untergehenden Herbstsonne. Die Blätter fielen auf uns herab und ich sah in den untergehenden Sonnenstrahlen glitzernden Staub als ob unsere Liebe Partikel der Einigkeit mit der Welt teilen würde . Ich dachte es würde immer so weiter gehen , ich dachte ich sah dich mit mir drehen und habe doch nicht verstanden, das du mir am Rande stehend zu gesehen hast,... | jetzt mit offenen Augen ist es wenn auch schmerzlich doch greifbarer den Mut aufzubringen zu sehen was da ist und sich trotzdem weiter zu drehen , wenn du nicht meine Hand hälst bin ich nie allein.. |
That was great! I loved the emotions, I loved the feeling of the story, I loved the creativity. Great work!
AntwortenLöschenBeautiful and heartfelt but I wonder if in the last line you mean 'I am always alone' rather than 'I am never alone'?
AntwortenLöschenSarah, she means "I am never alone". I can read a wee bit of german, and at the end it says "bin ich nie allein", which means "I am never alone". =)
AntwortenLöschenI love the melancholy in this piece. It makes me think of how sometimes we can be so far away from someone even if they're standing right next to us. The last bit, "wenn du nicht meine hand hälst bin ich nie allein..", is very strong, as it implies that the narrator would rather not have the other person hold their hand. Overall, it is a very complex paragraph despite its short length. I loved it.
/ Rain
Sarah, I actually love the fact that she wrote "if you are not holding my hand I am never alone"; it may seem contradictory at first, but I find it to be a very strong line, full of negative emotions. Wonderful words, if you ask me. =)
AntwortenLöschen/ Rain
thank you so much. Here is such a nice autumn weather wich always brings in this bittersweet melancholic moode.
AntwortenLöschenI really love such exercises where you just write what pops in your mind
Beautiful words! I love how you describe autumn. Very descriptive!
AntwortenLöschenThank you Rain, I'm glad I came back to check the comments.
AntwortenLöschenI agree, 'I am never alone' gives it far more impact and changes the way I read the whole post but for the better!
Beautiful! Very descriptive, capturing the autumn images so well. I could picture every line in my mind. Nice job!
AntwortenLöschenBeautiful!
AntwortenLöschenA wonderful piece. I really wish I could read German as I think it would help me really get a feel for your writing. It's very helpful having Rain able to help with translation...Loved the last line x
AntwortenLöschen